It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
