is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How external is "for external use only"?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
