brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just sent this text using only my big toe
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
