it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
