When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
