Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
