I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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