so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
