I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
