He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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