I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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