The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
