walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
