that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
