Fine. I'll sleep in my office
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
