nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize