Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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