just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
