1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
