Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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