I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
