I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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