Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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