brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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