I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
