forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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