If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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