I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
