Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
