All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
