This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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