Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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