Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
