Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
whose ass print is on the piano?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
