went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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