i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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