I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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