Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
