Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
