Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
