I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
