My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Never let your siblings swipe right.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
