...so i touched it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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