i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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