whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
