im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
