Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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