Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
