Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
