how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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