What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
