you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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