white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
