i think i have herpe
just one?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
