I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
