He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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