you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
