And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
